Trying to make a dream come true is never easy. For the last three years my hopes and wishes have faded over time as my condition has only gripped me tighter. It's so easy to give in and accept how little you're worth if you're willing to believe it. Once you start sinking, you almost lose your sense of direction unable to work out which way is up. You just float along in your own laziness and self loathing and convince yourself that this is it, things are over before they even begun.
As children we have all these hopes and aspirations, our neat stepping stones of how life will work out. If you're lucky you can cross the river of life without any serious issues, if you're not, you're stones turn out to be crocodiles and you're quickly bitten back to the beginning. Until a few days ago I'd accepted that I was forever doomed to sit on the shore and watch my dream world from a distance. Two days ago I decided that, that wasn't on.
All my life, after every knock or bump i've picked myself up and ploughed on. With my injury the energy to fight fled and instead of two steps forward one step back I got hit back to the bottom bit by bit. I'm back to the beginning of my journey. I know my dreams, and regardless of how unobtainable they seem, they're not impossible. This is the truth I need to cling to, 'They Are Not Impossible'. Whatever you set your sights on, as long as there's a 1 in an infinite chance it could come true it is never impossible. So I decided I want to fight for my dreams, I will make them come true. I will defy my condition, ignore my exhaustion and pain and forge ahead like the little girl I used to be.
My ultimate dream is to be successful doing something I love. I want to find a job I feel passionate about and can thrive in, with a good form of support and socialization that makes you smile the moment you open your eyes. I have no qualms about working myself into the ground, but my ultimate desire is to do it knowing that all my effort contributed to something I can be proud of. Big or little person, if I can stand back and say even a fraction of something was thanks to me, I'll have made my first step to true success.